if i could just not care about anything and float through life worry-free

but then i remember, what would i have to fight for? isn’t it nice to have sometime to car about? something to work towards? to have a goal and something to put your faith into? isn’t that who i am?

i care too much sometimes, yes, and it got me in trouble, but isn’t that why you love me? the fact that i’m able to really just care about you. as soon as i chill out, you rope me back in. you can not care. i can’t. and that’s why we fell in love with each other.

she can’t give you what i can, she can’t care like i could and i don’t want her to even have the chance to know you like i do. no one can care as much as i do. i love you because you can make me see sense and you can make me realize what is and isn’t a big deal. you love me because i give you something to care about because i hold on and i don’t give up. you surrender, i fight.

we’re so perfect for each other and we don’t want to lose each other but i’m still so scared that you’re really going to give up on me for good. after last night. after i started to freak out while we were high and ruined the whole mood. i ruined the night for myself by making a big deal out of something probably really small.

one step forward and three steps back. maybe i can pull it out of my ass again.